Ken Solin: Authenticity is under-rated
Alvin: Who are you, what do you do, and what do you enjoy most about it?
Ken: I’m a 66 year old retired finance entrepreneur who raised his son from infancy as a single dad. I have very strong feelings about fathers and fatherhood and offer new fathers articles to help them navigate a difficult journey. The notion that men aren’t up to the task of raising children at the same level as women is nonsense. I enjoy riding motorcycles, hiking, cooking, and writing for Huffington Post and my blog. My men friends are my most valuable possession. I honor and support them and they do the same in return. I started my men’s group 20 years ago, and we’re still meeting twice a month.
Alvin: Pick any man in the world, who would be most influential to you and why?
Ken: My living man tribute would be Nelson Mandela, and my all time hero would be Gandhi. Both men accomplished their goals of freeing their people without resorting to violence. I’m also a fan of the Dalai Llama because even after losing his country to the Chinese, he has no hatred in his heart for them.
Alvin: What do you wish to accomplish 1 year from today?
Ken: I hope that a year from now my book will be on many men’s nightstands and that they will finally free themselves of the burden of false manhood that was thrust on them early on in life. I hope that in a year, every man without an authentic man friend will have one because he was willing to trust and be open.
Alvin: Name one issue that is a challenge for most men and how do you suggest we work through it?
Ken: The biggest issue for men is that they don’t know the difference between their thoughts and their feelings, and until they can distinguish the two, readily, they won’t get what they want and need from women, or anyone else for that matter. Men must be comfortable opening their hearts, and learning how with other men is the safest, most effective way to accomplish that.
Alvin: What has been your largest step to manhood?
Ken: My biggest step towards manhood was starting my men’s group after decades of dysfunctional behavior with women and having no close men friends. This took all the courage i could manage to find, but in the end, saved me from spending the remainder of my life alone and unfeeling.
Alvin: What’s been the best advice you received about being a man?
Ken: The best advice i ever received about being a man was to be authentic, be myself, act from my heart and not my head. Authenticity is under-rated. Too many men behave in a manner they think others expect from them instead of having the courage to just be themselves. I still have to remind myself sometimes not to stray from what i believe just to become more popular with other men I’m trying to help. I am okay now knowing that some men will believe in my message that is meant entirely to free them from self-doubt and unsuccessful relationships, while others will continue to struggle in the false belief that being shut down is somehow manly.0